Unacceptable

PLEASE NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING

Hey guys,

I know that I haven't done any book reviews in a while. There'll be more soon I promise! In light of recent events, with so many rape cases hitting the news and victims speaking about sexual abuse, I wanted to talk a little about my experiences with rape culture. I reiterate a possible trigger warning. 

I am pretty. I'm not a supermodel, and I don't consider myself beautiful. I'm curvy and a little overweight, but I still consider myself pretty. I get noticed sometimes. That's okay, good even. It's when being noticed becomes a line being crossed, or a threat, that the problem occurrs.

I have a couple of stories from my life that I want to tell you in order to make my point. 

Story #1

The first happened my junior year of college, on the night of my Junior Senior banquet. There was a mix-up with the group of people I was going with, and I ended up having to drive to the location alone, which wasn't a big deal. However, when I got there, I got lost. I ended up parking on the wrong side of the conference center. A CONFERENCE CENTER. So...not a small building. It was dusk, and the inner city. Because I had mistakenly parked on the wrong side, I had to walk all the way around this giant building by myself. 

I was wearing a strapless blue dress that went down to my knees, full length leggings, high-heels, and a scarf that covered pretty much all of my shoulders. But still, you could tell I was dressed up and going somewhere. While I was walking, I got 'cat called.' Not once, not twice, but three times. The third time involved the car slowing down, and the guys in it yelling in graphic detail what they wanted to do to me in my pretty dress. 

I did what all girls are trained to do: I put my head down, I walked faster, they walked away laughing. My friends were obviously upset when I told them, and (God bless them) the guys in my party all worked extra hard to make sure I had a good time, and I did. But underneath it all I was sad. I no longer felt pretty. I felt exposed. 

Someone drove me back to the garage I was parked in at the end of the night. And in the two minutes between their car and mine, it happened again. A car full of guys, drunk this time, drove by (in a now abandoned parking garage) and were yelling inappropriate things. I made it home safely, but the night will never be a 'fun' memory for me like it should be. 

Story #2

This happened last night. 

I had a very long, and not very good day yesterday. I had already planned on ordering a pizza, buying some ice cream, and just chilling. I forgot to stop for the ice cream on the way home, so I thought I'd order the pizza to make sure they'd still deliver, and then run out to the 24-hour store and grab the ice cream. I live in the suburbs, so I didn't think anything would be the problem. 

So I live across the street some poeple I'm not particularly fond of. They party, they're loud, they set off fireworks in the middle of the night. Yeah. One of the guys that lives there is like 6'5" and between 250-300 pounds. Very large man. I've always felt that he looked at me strangely, and I try to avoid him as much as possible. Luckily, he's never engaged with me. Until last night.

I had to park across the street from my house last night. The partiers, including this guy, were all outside. It was only 10:15, but I could tell he was already drunk. I was wearing a sweater, leggings and combat boots. As I was crossing the street he yelled 'HEY! How are you?' Very quietly I said, "I'm fine, thank you." I was very matter of fact. I kept walking. I didn't want to ignore him because he is my neighbor, but I didn't want to interact. Next thing out of his mouth--"You should come party with us!' I replied 'No, thank you.' as I entered my driveway. 

That pissed him off. He started yelling, 'AWWW, WHY NOT? That's F**** UP! WHAT ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR US?" By that time I had the door unlocked, and I had the deadbolt slammed seconds later. I had been about five feet from him at the closest point. My heart was racing. 

Understand, I am not weak. I am probably physically the strongest person among my female friends. My father was in the military, I know basic defense skills. I carry pepper spray. I was so afraid of that man, that I didn't go out to get the ice cream. I barely wanted to step outside to meet the delievery guy. 

----

Those are the two stories. I know that compared to a lot of women, these stories are tame. I have never been raped, I have never been sexually abused. But what makes me sick? I have to consider myself lucky that it's never happened to me. That there are so many victims of sexual crimes now, that the status of victim is almost more common than not. 

Don't get me wrong, I am lucky. Either of those stories could have turned badly very quickly. But I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to have to think about whether I can step outside of the house to go get ice cream. I don't want to have to think about whether or not my leggings that I wear every day give the idea of 'easy access.' If these things sound selfish, they are.

On behalf of every woman--victim or not--I am angry, and I am tired. I am angry that men think it's okay to tell me they want to take me against my will, to comment on my pictures online and say they want to 'cum all over your face.' I'm tired off having 911 pre-dialed on my phone when I walk to my car at night. I'm angry that my body makes me an object. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder and reciting the 'rules' of how not to be assaulted whenever I am walking--even in the day time. 

And I am angry that if something had happened to me, most of the world would consider it my fault. 

I am a person that believes the only way things can change is if you know about it, and talk about it. So that's what this is. Rape culture isn't going to change unless we MAKE it change. This isn't a rant against men, I know that there are some great guys out there. And if you're reading this, help us. When your friends say derogatory things, say something. Set an example and look into our eyes when we talk. Say we look beautiful instead of just our bodies. 

So here's to change. Keep it going. 

CV

The Playwright's the thing...

So I don't usually do posts about my personal life, but this is pretty big, so I thought I'd talk about it a little. 

I am now officially a playwright. 

Some of you may remember me saying I've been working on my graduate thesis on twitter etc. That thesis was a stageplay titled Always. I had a thesis partner who directed the production, and on April 5th, it opened. As like...a real thing. I WROTE A PLAY. HOLY FREAKING COW. 

I know that it wasn't perfect and the play still needs a lot of work, and I welcome that. But considering that a year ago is was a ten minute play, and now it's a cohesive, performable story of one hundred pages, I'm pretty damn proud of where it came to. 

So you guys can get a taste of what it was like, I'm going to give you the miniature synopsis we used, my playwright's not that I wrote for the program, and at the end I'll tack on some pictures of the production itself!

GUYS I WROTE A PLAY! EEEE!

Synopsis:

2,500 years ago the Moirae—the Fates of Greek mythology—made a mistake.

When the bargain they made with the King and Queen of Thessaly goes wrong, a single soul stays on the earth past its allotted time, leaving the world out of balance. Admetus and Alcestis lived a happily ever after they were never meant to have. 

Now, the Fates are back for revenge. 

In Always, the past collides with the present, and explores what it means to live and to love across eternity. 

Playwright's note:

When asked about writing, you get asked a lot of the same questions: What made you want to write this story? What was your favorite part to write? What about the play is most important to you? Who is your favorite character?

            All good questions—There are a lot of things that contribute to a story coming together, and many of them aren’t identifiable until after you’ve already used them in your writing, and the answers to these questions inevitably evolve. Always is a collection of many things: my love of re-tellings, Greek Mythology, non-linear story-telling, and the way people connect to each other through out time. However, even though it wasn’t a beginning factor for me writing Always, the most interesting thing for me personally to explore has been the theme of sacrifice.

            Ever since I was little, the idea of sacrifice has fascinated me. Though I couldn’t put a name to this fascination when I was younger, in hindsight I see why the paintings in museums of martyrs were my favorite, why I wanted to be Joan of Arc, why bittersweet endings left me more satisfied than happy ones. In addition, I have powerful examples of sacrifice in my own life: My father putting his own dreams on hold so that I could pursue mine, my mother giving up years of her life to give me the best education I could have, growing up in a military home and knowing those that have died in service.

            This being known, it’s not surprising that the story of Admetus and Alcestis would jump out at me from the Greek canon. When I read it, I immediately knew I wanted to find a way for modern audiences to experience this story. It is so pure, so simple, and so different from our culture today.

            We currently live in a world where sacrifice is undervalued. In the media we see heroes—both fictional and real—take risks without consequences every day. I have to ask what does this say to us? Perhaps it says that endings that aren’t happy don’t have any value? Perhaps it’s that sacrifice without the knowledge of victory is useless?

            If those things are true, what does that say about us as a people? If we can only accept happy endings, what will we do when the opportunity for sacrifice presents itself? What will we do when suffering does not lead to something better?

            I may never be able to exactly pinpoint the spark that led me to write Always, but I found the heart of it: That sacrifice is both beautiful and powerful. Always. Thank you for joining me on the journey.

 

 

If you're still with me after all of that, god bless you. That was a long post. But I'm just so excited! I hope you all enjoyed the note and the pictures!

CV

It's Saturday!

Tell me what you're reading this weekend! I'm working on FEVER by Lauren Destefano. (I know, I know, I'm really behind.)

But I want to know what books are in your hands, on your nightstands, and in your bags for the glorious weekend.

CV

ESACPE THEORY Blog Tour

Hello everyone!

I'm today's stop on the Escape Theory Blog Tour!

A little about the book:

Sixteen-year-old Devon Mackintosh has always felt like an outsider at Keaton, the prestigious California boarding school perched above the Pacific. As long as she’s not fitting in, Devon figures she might as well pad her application to Stanford’s psych program. So junior year, she decides to become a peer counselor, a de facto therapist for students in crisis. At first, it seems like it will be an easy fly-on-the-wall gig, but her expectations are turned upside down when Jason Hutchins (a.k.a. “Hutch”), one of the Keaton’s most popular students, commits suicide.
 
Devon dives into her new role providing support for Hutch’s friends, but she’s haunted by her own attachment to him. The two shared an extraordinary night during their first week freshman year; it was the only time at Keaton when she felt like someone else really understood her.  As the secrets and confessions pile up in her sessions, Devon comes to a startling conclusion: Hutch couldn't have taken his own life. Bound by her oath of confidentiality—and tortured by her unrequited love—Devon embarks on a solitary mission to get to the bottom of Hutch's death, and the stakes are higher than she ever could have imagined.

And as a part of the tour today, I have an interview with Margaux!

1. When did you start writing?

--I just found an old report card from first grade where the teacher basically said I was bad at math but my writing was very good. So, my canned answer is to say since first grade. But really, it’s kind of true. My mom found a book I made in fourth grade with a short story, and if I do say so, it’s a pretty darn good story for a ten-year-old. Also, I always wrote during high school. Short stories, poems, even just my journal. I tried writing feature scripts when I was 21-about 25, and then switched to TV writing. I just picked up prose again in 2009, and had to break a lot of my screenwriting habits to get back in the mind of good fiction. 

2. What made you want to write/be an author as a career?

--Oh man, I’m not sure there was a time I didn’t want to be an author. Well, besides the year I wanted to be Kate Moss. But then I saw Pulp Fiction and wanted to be Quentin Tarantino. I think before then I loved Raymond Carver, Ray Bradbury, JD Salinger..I loved short stories. I wrote a really great (at the time;) short story when I was 14 or 15 about a wife who stabs her husband at the dinner table. I thought I was so dark and edgy. And then I started reading anything David Sedaris wrote, and loved the possibility of being that funny about everyday things in life. My family is not without its quirks, and I loved the idea of writing short stories about those weird family moments. Plus, David Sedaris lives part of the year in France, which I also liked the sound of.  I still love writing as a career, and even when it doesn’t totally pay the bills I just think, ‘what else am I going to do? Get my real estate license?’ Somehow that reminds me that this is kind of what I’m here to do. I’d be a terrible real estate agent.

3. Do you have any particular ritual when you write? (A specific way things are done during the process)

--I’m pretty nutty about my schedule. When I was deep in the book and at my most productive I kept a pretty strict schedule of writing from 10-1 and 2-6. Then my boyfriend would come over and we’d force ourselves to turn off computers and cook dinner together. I’ve actually gotten more into cooking since writing novels. I think it’s a great way to wind down the day, your brain is still active but you are relaxing at the same time. It’s become a great time in our household to talk out story issues. 
--Also, when I’m writing I cannot see people. No brunches, lunches, coffee dates...anything that stops my day doesn’t work. I pretty much have to wake up, make coffee, deal with any emails, and then get started. My friends know I may be out of touch for a few months when I’m deep in pages...it’s not personal, but I definitely have to cut out all the chatter in my everyday life (Twitter, Facebook included.). I think it helps me better listen to the world and people taking root in my imagination. 
--And if that’s not hippy-dippy enough for you...I’m a big fan of meditating before I start writing. David Lynch’s book “Catching the Big Fish” is awesome. He’s big on Transcendental Meditation (TM). I’ve learned that as well, although I admit I am not as well-disciplined with daily practicing as I should be. But, I really do find it to be true that our brains are a muscle. Learning to calm all the chatter in our heads is like our brains lifting weights. When my brain is able to calm and drown out the chatter better, that allows for better thinking and more space for the writing to come through. I figured out the beginning of the second Keaton school book from meditating, so I can say it definitely works. 

4. Is there something you MUST have when you're writing? (Aside from the typical writing tools) 

--What must I have? That’s a tough one. I’m kind of a dork about red pens for editing. And when I outline, I need the space to get a little crazy. I have chalkboards next to my desk and a cork board so I can stick up notecards or draw diagrams. Different stages of writing seem to require different tools for my crazy. ie, early on brainstorming seems to involve note cards and lots of scribbling on the chalkboard. And different colors of chalk become important...who knows why.? But when I’ve locked my outline I need it printed up next to me. From there I pretty much write what I’m going to write anyways and hope it ends up resembling the original outline, but it usually doesn’t. 

5. How did you come up with the idea for Escape Theory?

--I’ve always wanted to write a boarding school mystery. Even when I was 15 at boarding school I thought it was such a rich world, so contained with its own heightened reality. It was when I met my editor that we both agreed there was room for a contemporary, boarding school thriller. He wanted to explore the peer counseling concept, and I helped find a small love story and mystery to go along with that. 

6. What was the journey to publication for Escape Theory like?

--Blessed. I feel incredibly lucky that any of this happened. I had been introduced to my future editor, the incomparable, Dan Ehrenhaft, before he was at Soho Teen. We were brainstorming ideas for books that I could make into TV shows at MTV and bonded over similar boarding school experiences. But it was when Dan started Soho Teen that he approached me with the beginning of the idea of what would become Escape Theory. I had been writing a MG book until then, but this was my first YA book, and I was lucky enough to learn on the job with a great teacher. I actually still don’t have a lit agent because I was lucky to have my deals come to me and I’ve been busy since. It’s a high class problem, I realize.

7. As a YA Author, do you feel any pressure to address the social issues teens are facing now in your writing?

--Absolutely. I’ve got four teenage nieces, my friend’s kids, plus, I still feel like being a 15-year-old wasn’t that long ago for me. YA wasn’t really an option when I was a teenager, let alone the internet, so I know teens have a lot more material available to them now. But, being a teenager is rough, no matter what books or internet access you’ve got. I definitely want to write things that are fun to read, that are thought-provoking, maybe a little dangerous, but also set a decent example. Not every character will be a saint, they definitely aren’t in Escape Theory. I covered prescription abuse because I know that’s a very real and very prevalent issue with teenagers today. I never want to be preachy about a subject, but I figure if I can show the realities of something, like Isla’s downward spiral journey, maybe that can help show readers where to draw the lines in their own lives. And here’s the thing, yes, different generations will face different issues, but even if you watch Rebel Without a Cause (1955)  today, teenage issues are still pretty universal. 

8. What is the scene, in anything you've ever written, that was the most fun for you to write?

--In anything I’ve ever written? Not fair...that’s super tough. Honestly, it might have been the last chapter in Escape Theory with Devon and Hutch. It was Hutch’s final chapter and I totally cried when writing it. I got really dorky about it, and it was great to write with that emotion. I remember hearing how JK Rowling was upset after killing Dumbledore in the Harry Potters...I totally understand, although I’m sure her relationship with Dumbledore went much deeper by that point. But still...it was a crazy experience to mourn someone who never existed in real life. 

9. Which was the most challenging?

--Is it a copout to say the same scene as above? Some scenes are certainly challenging...I just figure I haven’t found my way in yet, so lots of bad writing has to occur before the good stuff rises to the surface and gets me where I want to go. The challenging ones are the ones I haven’t written yet. It’s dealing with the unknown and still navigating how to get inside. Even with an outline it’s still a dance to get comfortable in a world again. Waiting for the first lines of this book and the second book were tough, but honestly, they came when I stepped away from the computer, meditated, went for a hike, something else besides staring at my screen waiting for something smart to pop into my head. 

10. What is your favorite book to read for pleasure? Is there one that you keep reading again and again?

--I’m a big fan of Roald Dahl. His short stories “Tales of the Unexpected” is always amazing. His adult stuff is so dark but twisted and still totally funny. They made a Twilight Zone episode from at least one of his stories. Anything of Roald Dahl’s I can cuddle up with and feel that awe all over again.

11. What kind of books would you say that YA needs more of right now?

--Tough question. You know, I’m trying to keep up with as much YA as possible, and I constantly feel behind. I’m confused why there isn’t more contemporary out there. But I’m also excited about this new Emerging or New Adult genre that is coming alive. I think getting characters a tad older will bring about some different voices and really fun experiences. 

12. Do you have any new projects in the works? Anything you can tell us about? 

--I’m hard at work on the second book of the Keaton series. Delving into the founding of The Keaton School in the 1940s, which was rife with drama and great characters to explore. And I’ve moved back to Los Angeles to try to jump back into writing television again. So writing new sample scripts and getting ready for that merry-go-round. But I’d really love to start another YA book or even New Adult book, still playing with a few options. We’ll see what rises to the surface first. 

13. Finally, any words of wisdom for anyone who is thinking of becoming a writer, or just something you think all writers should know?

--My Hollywood friends and I say this one a lot, ‘It’s a marathon, not a sprint.’. And writing is all about that. It’s a discipline, like yoga, you’ll never be done learning.  I figure as long as I just keep writing, the work will get better and better. I’m still learning with each thing I write. And honestly, that’s the only way to get better. Just be nice to yourself about some of the work you’re maybe not thrilled with, and keep going. I know writers who fiddle and futz with the same project for years and it’s still not done. As writers, our only commodity is our finished product. So if something is sucking, either solve it or move on, but get things done. Oh, and another piece of advice, embrace the terrible first draft. A lot of writers get frustrated and then stop a project because it’s just not working out right. But I find that the secret is, it’s a lot easier to improve on crap than it is to improve upon nothing at all. It’s all part of the journey, and if you’re writing, it’s always a fascinating journey.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Margaux Froley is a Southern California native and a boarding school grad. She spent the last few years working her way through the Hollywood ranks to become a television writer on CW'sPrivileged. She then moved to New York to become a development executive at MTV Networks. Escape Theoryis her first novel.

You can find her at her website: http://www.margauxfroley.com/

Or tweeting: @MargauxFroley

COVER REVEAL: Olivia Twisted

Hey ya'll! It's friday, and today is the day for the cover reveal of OLIVIA TWISTED by Vivi Barnes!

About the book:

Olivia

He tilts my chin up so my eyes meet his, his thumb brushing lightly across my lips. I close my eyes. I know Z is trouble. I know that being with him is going to get me into trouble. I don’t care.

At least at this moment, I don’t care.

Tossed from foster home to foster home, Olivia’s seen a lot in her sixteen years. She’s hardened, sure, though mostly just wants to fly under the radar until graduation. But her natural ability with computers catches the eye of Z, a mysterious guy at her new school. Soon, Z has brought Liv into his team of hacker elite—break into a few bank accounts, and voila, he drives a motorcycle. Follow his lead, and Olivia might even be able to escape from her oppressive foster parents. As Olivia and Z grow closer, though, so does the watchful eye of Bill Sykes, Z’s boss. And he’s got bigger plans for Liv…

Z

I can picture Liv’s face: wide-eyed, trusting. Her smooth lips that taste like strawberry Fanta.

   It was just a kiss. That’s all. She’s just like any other girl.

Except that she’s not.

Thanks to Z, Olivia’s about to get twisted.

About the author:

Vivi Barnes was raised on a farm in East Texas where her theater-loving mom and cowboy dad gave her a unique perspective on life. Now living in the magic and sunshine of Orlando, Florida, she divides her time writing, working, goofing off with her husband and three kids, and avoiding dirty dishes. 

Find her on her blog: http://4chicks.wordpress.com/ 
Find her on twitter: https://twitter.com/ViviBarnes
Find her on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/vivibarnes.author 

Without further ado, here it is!

Isn't it PRETTY? 

You can find OLIVIA TWISTED on Goodreads and Amazon.

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CV